cleaning up with a smile

Less than three weeks and I will be saying goodbye to my "2nd home" for more than 13 years. As they say, some good things never last. 
Yesterday, I did my first step of tidying up my soon to be vacated workplace. As I unearthed my old things, I couldn't help but smile, laugh and nod my head as memories of the past kept rushing back.

I have this hobby to buy cute post it, those not found normally in Batangas NBS. 

Floppy disc. Mike says it's equivalent to our external disc now coz it has large capacity unlike the normal floppy disc. 100mb. anu raw un?

I have lots of photos of employees past and present, accumulated through the years. aliw. I don't remember all the names anymore.

Should I throw this or not?

 Notes.I have 7 planners/notebooks either half/barely consumed. I gave away the decent ones.

I found coins under the files of paper and I found this bill inserted on this notebook. Bakit kaya hindi na lang Php1000k ang siningit ko.

CBA minutes. I have tons of CBA notes, now all shredded.

I doubt if I was able to finish this book, I suspect I was looking for it then but I was unaware that it got buried somewhere.

one drawer down.

mga naipong sweet and nice na kung ano ano.

ready for the next HR Staff. savings ko na office supplies :)

Today, my next mission is my cabinet. But they are all serious business. all for shredding.

my kuya

how time flies really.

every thing in its own time

I am leaving one month from now, ok, a little more than one month. When people ask me if it's official, uhhmmm yes. It's filed and its dated. However, I have yet to see what I will be asked to do regarding my replacement, if there is one, coz if you have to ask me, my duties can easily be integrated with anybody's job in the P&GA. Before I go, I want to leave every little thing to be as smooth as possible.

Several years back, I already contemplated leaving my work. I felt so devastated with how things were going on around me. I didn't know what I did exactly and what went wrong. Admittedly, I went through some kind of depression (not clinical, though) but because I had a solid support from family and real friends, I survived and came out fine. But it wasn't easy, it was very difficult in fact. Some meaningful officemates who were my contemporaries when I joined this Company had to talk to me about the very messy situation. Out of desperation, I told them that I wanted to resign that very moment but they said NO. "If you like to go, then go, but NOT now. Leaving might be read as guilt on your part." So I stayed. 

Now, as I looked back, those two guys were right. The situation may not be perfect now but it was 200% better than before. If I quit that moment, then I was the sore loser in front of everyone, I was the guilty party and more importantly I would never have the chance to have these valuable learnings: 

1.) I discovered that I was made up of strong stuff inside.

2.) I learned that in moments of strife only true friends will bravely stay by your side, but eventually, you will also forget the pain brought about by those who drifted away from you. 

3. ) I realized that the saying "truth shall prevail" is indeed true. 

4.) And most of all, I learned  that every crisis has an end. Thus the saying, "That, too, shall pass."

I am glad that I also listened to the wisdom of my two officemates (truly, they deserve to be where they are). Had I remained stubborn, then I won't be able to have the chance to witness how broken relationships could still be fixed despite everything that had happened and also how wounded spirits were healed in the process.

I knew then that there could be no excuse for all my mischievousness and meanness and there was no doubt that I needed to be punished for those things whether I was at fault or not. That time,I needed to see the ugliness of my actions and its consequences so that I wont be inclined to do those things again. But I knew very well that before I could move on  and move out of the pains I needed to forgive myself. So, I went through the process of forgiving my frailties and weaknesses as a human being. And afterwards, I felt so free to place everything to God. I am not a religious person but moments like this, I knew where (and whom) to turn to. 

These days, I feel like I am starting a new leaf in my life.  My heart is filled with gratitude, good memories and lessons. Definitely, I will be shedding tears when I go but it is not because I feel sad but it's because of the happiness of having been given the grace to enjoy renewed relationships.  

Let me close this article by sharing to you few lines from one of my favorite Bible verses:

Ecclesiastes 3:1

"And there is a time for every event under heaven".


"A time to kill and a time to heal:

A time to tear down and a time to build up"


"A time to weep and a time to laugh"


"A time to embrace and a time to shun from embracing"


"A time to be silent and a time to speak"


"A time for war and a time for peace" 



To God be the Glory.

Manuscript Found in Accra

Finally, after a month since I bought this, I was able to start reading this book. It's very Coelho - insightful and lots of "life reminders". 

here are some of the memorable quotes from the two chapters that I read last night:

"It isn't a matter of who is the strongest, but God's way of showing us the cycle of death and resurrection".

"And within that cycle there are neither winners nor losers;there are only stages that must be gone through".

"But when those moments pass, we will discover the hidden strength that exists in each of us, a strength that will surprise us and increase our self respect."

"Because Love needs to rest, so that it can journey through the heavens and reveal itself in other forms."

Solitude is not the absence of company, but the moment when our soul is free to speak to us and help us decide what to do with our life."

"In solitude, they will be able to decide whether it is worth asking that lost love to come back or if he should simply let it go and set off along a new path."

"And when we achieve that harmony, we receive more than we asked for."
:)

If I were

I was lulling myself to sleep last night when these thoughts were running in my mind. But does a busy mind like this really want to fall asleep? :)

If I were a singer, my top favorite song to sing is
IF I WERE A BOY

If I were a boy, I might dream of becoming a priest or a Buddhist Monk

If I were to write a letter to myself, that letter would be sent back to myself when I was 17 (just like the song)

If I were still 17 then I would take time to really understand Philosophy.

If I were a Philosopher, I like to be a Christian Philosopher so I wont have have doubts on my beliefs anymore.

If I had to choose my birthplace, I would choose to be  born in India or Tibet

If I had to live in the past, I would like to be alive during the renaissance period so I would have an innate sense of art appreciation.

Next... dreamland.

Little steps

Last year, probably around this month din, hubby and I were watching Jessica Soho's show featuring the "ShoeBox Project" of the Philippine Military. I didn't have exact details of that project, but on a nutshell, it was like the Military would accept donation of school supplies from people and they would be distributing it to identified communities. Donations must be in empty shoeboxes.
I was greatly touched by the gestures of our uniformed people, but what struck me most was when the show featured this child crying because she didn't have a slipper going to school. The mother was trying to tell her to go to school despite the missing slipper but she refused. As a mother, I could feel the heaviness and the helplessness she might be feeling at that time. Her son was shown sitting on a bench also not going to attend classes because his slippers were already beyond repair, while her eldest child was shown walking her way to school carrying a plastic bag for her paper and pen.  It was a harsh reality.

I suddenly felt my tears rolling down on my cheeks uncontrollably. I felt so guilty because that afternoon, I had something done to my hair and asked hubby to pay Php7,000 for that salon visit. How could I be so insensitive to spend a big amount of money on my hair while those children couldn't even have a pair of slippers and a real school bag? 

Until now, whenever I would recall that episode, I could feel my eyes swelling with tears. Although, my guilt has lessened a bit because I never went back to expensive hairstyling since nor to any senseless spending.

This year, I started my own little Shoebox project. I gathered all my kahon here in Batangas and put basic school supplies. Not big, not much. Just something to start on. Baby steps and only me for the meantime. I hope next year I could also involve my children and my husband. 

Through the help of our Security Consultant I was able to make my project come true. Thank you po for helping me.  

Simbahang Bato

When we were in Mindoro during the Holy Week, this was the 14th church of our Visita Iglesia. When we got here it was already dark and all of us felt something mystical. My mother is telling me that there is a story of a big foot  step (which they say belongs to an other worldly creature)where the altar is right now, but according to the caretaker, that footstep is no longer visible now because of the renovation the church has to go through. 

When we were there during our Mother's Day church visit, the ambiance was totally different. Of course, it was daytime and there were churchgoers. 

Can you see that facade? It's old.

my "future priest" looks so pleased being here.

this is the inside.

although this corner is part of the inside, it has no roof. when it rains, this part gets wet.

 Hubby and I are planning to have our church wedding in this church. It's far, we know, and lots of preparations on logistics :) . It's quiet a challenge to mount any event here but we will see.